I Still Love You
by MissModernTrekkie
Summary: Inuyasha wishes to forget about his past. Yet when a strange young girl with strikingly familiar eyes and two doglike ears enters the picture, Inuyasha fears that perhaps a huge part of his past is all but behind him. Could she be... alive? Please RR
1. A Strange Young Lady Named May

Nothingness, nothing but the tall green trees that surrounded could be sensed near the party as they continued on their long journey for revenge on Naraku and their search for the sacred jewel shards scattered throughout the region. There was nothing to be said, that is nobody felt much like talking, and all to be heard was the occasional rise in laughter as Kagome came up with ways to amuse Shippo. There were other less obvious sounds if you listened closely, the rings on Miroku's staff clanged with a steady beat, there was the soft thud as Sango collided with her boomerang slung across her shoulder, and then there was the shake of the tree branches as Inuyasha worked his reflexes, springing ahead gracefully, beautifully and yet, beastly. Inuyasha was irritated and in a dreadful mood. The night before his past trauma's haunted his dreams, and he could not to seem to forget its horror. He wanted to forget Kikyo and other things, he wanted to forget everything. An awful feeling of drear consumed his body and he wanted with all his power to reach Naraku for his revenge. He took out his feelings with anger.

"We haven't found one shard all day," Inyuasha complained silently, "We're too slow is the problem." Inuyasha sulked back to where the others were, "Hey down there, how about we pick it up."

Kagome scowled, "Inuyasha we need a rest, we're going to stop for lunch and that's that."

Sango stopped and added as Miroku's stomach gave a lurch in hunger, "Inuyasha I agree with Kagome, some lunch would do us all good."

Inuyasha jumped to the ground, "Well it would seem I'm out numbered so let's do this quickly," Inuyasha's stomach growled and Miroku stepped forward.

"Have patience my friend, it would seem you suffer of hunger yourself."

Kagome smirked, "Great, and maybe it will do something about your bad attitude." Inuyasha stiffened defensively, "Hey you can't talk to me that-,"

Suddenly a scent of a demon and a smell Inuyasha couldn't quite identify filled the air. He could sense it approaching. Miroku stepped forward.

"Inuyasha what is it-," "Shut up and prepare yourselves, the air reeks of demon and who knows what. It's coming this way!"

Kagome closed her eyes. "I sense a sacred jewel shard."

"Which way Kagome?" Miroku asked as he reached for the beads that held his wind tunnel. Suddenly a figure plunged from the trees landing softly behind Inuyasha.

"You've got to get out of here, run for it!" However, before anyone could react, a giant snake demon emerged bearing its fangs menacingly. It made to strike Kagome who dropped her bow and arrow in fear. Inuyasha rescued her seconds before the hit.

"Half demons everywhere, you don't belong on this world!" the monster taunted spitting poison inches before Sango's feet. Inuyasha charged forward, pulling his father's fang into view.

"Shut up, I'm stronger than you; all right if you want to do this the hard way I've been waiting for this all day. WIND SCAR!" Inuyasha raised his powerful sword and released the attack, slashing the snake in two. The body fell to the ground and cautiously Kagome collected the jewel, placing it with the rest around her neck. The dust began to settle.

"Oh sir, thank you so much, I wish to repay you, oh but how." The voice of a girl spoke up and the other smell that remained, reminded Inuyasha of the girl's presence.

Inuyasha turned to face her, "Well aren't you going to leave and return home or whatever. The danger is ov-," Inuyasha met the face of a younger girl with long black hair that lay across her shoulders, golden eyes (strikingly like is own), and… _two fuzzy ears_!

"Sorry sir but I don't have a home because you see I'm on a journey to find my parents and-," "Who are you?" Inuyasha interrupted not hearing a word she was saying. A surge of thoughts ran through his head, "Her hair, where was that hair from, those eyes, and those ears, she looks like… like… _me_."

Kagome slapped Inuyasha ("Don't you be so rude to her!") and approached the girl.

"Excuse our friend, Inuyasha, he's just in a bad mood because he's hungry. I'm Kagome, over to your left is Sango the Demon slayer."

Sango stepped forward, "Hello, don't be afraid of Kirara," she gestured as the girl seemed to back away from her beloved pet cat demon, "She won't hurt you."

Kagome continued, "Below is Shippo, and to your left is Miroku the monk."

Miroku took her hand, "my dear would you care to bear my children?" The girl laughed as Sango slapped him hard enough to fill the air with a deafening crack.

Kagome put her hand to her mouth, "Oh no, just excuse him, he says that to every girl he meets but I assure you he's harmless."

Miroku smiled sheepishly. "What can I say, I am charmed by her beauty. " Sango slapped his other cheek, harder than before. "Owww!"

The girl relaxed and smiled at everyone including Inuyasha who sulked under a tree. "How nice to meet you all, oh my name, I'm Mayela, but you can just call me May. Your friend, Inuyasha is it, excuse me but are you really a half demon?"

Inuyasha didn't answer as he stood silent, his eyes fixed on May, "This is her Inuyasha, she is here, and she is beautiful. Do you want to hold her, be careful Inuyasha she's very delicate. I named her…," Inuyasha felt the eyes of everyone on him.

"Are you Inuyasha, are you half demon?" May questioned innocently. Inuyasha looked away. "Yeah, so, what's the big deal?"

May frowned slightly, "Nothing wrong with it, I'm one too, it's just, well, you look like me and I've, well, never met anybody who might understand… well that's not important. Now how to repay you all for your help. I don't have much, but I think I have some fresh apples to share, let me just check."

Kagome placed her hand on May's shoulder. "We don't want pay, don't worry about it, hey, I've got an idea, why don't you eat lunch with us? I've got enough food I think."

May's eyes widened," Really? You're so kind."

Inuyasha remained unusually quiet and appeared lost. He didn't protest over the limited amount of food as he usually would have and Miroku who seemed to have been the only to notice, approached Inuyasha. "That smell, I know that smell and yet it can't possibly be."

"Inuyasha," Miroku inquired, "why don't you tell me what's on your mind." Inuyasha didn't answer and Miroku continued to prod for information, "Isn't she beautiful, May I mean of course, we are lucky to meet her." Inuyasha turned abruptly to Miroku.

"Don't ever say those words about her again, do you understand me, never again."

Without waiting for an answer Inuyasha walked away, leaving behind an awestruck Miroku.

Note: I do not own Inuyasha I just love it. The only character of my own is May, and of course common sense tells you that this particular fanfiction is of course my plot.

Also, I promise this will all make a lot more sense in later chapters. Please give positive reviews, I'd really apreciate it, thank you!


	2. She Was My Daughter

"May, excuse me please, but can I ask you a personal (crunch) question." Kagome managed to say in between bites."

May shifted nervously. "Sure, what do you wish to know?"

"You mentioned (crunch) you're searching for your parents (crunch). That's so sad, did you never know either one of (crunch) them?"

Inuyasha stopped eating and looked up. May sat straighter and shifted to a more comfortable direction. "No I never did, but it's okay, I do fine for myself. I just want to know what happened, I want to learn something about my past. It use to be harder for me to deal with, but now I think, if I don't find out anything ever, I'll just never, you know, know for sure why my parents were separated from me." May looked away, "I've just gotta know."

Everyone bowed their head in sympathy except for Inuyasha who sniffed and scowled, "Why would you want to know someone who has done you in like that. If I were you I would be angry, don't you think things would be different if they really worried about you or where you are today." Kagome was furious, how could he act so rude to this poor girl.

"Inuyasha what has gotten into you, why are you being this way?"

Inuyasha retreated back into a deep thought. Across the way Miroku watched his friend and realized, something wasn't right. That was not anger in Inuyasha's voice, it was sorrow.

"Isn't she pretty Inuyasha? We will live a perfect life. I want to live in small town with trees all around where she can play and I can enjoy the beauty of the world." Voices echoed over and over. Inuyasha wanted it all to stop, the painful memories, and the worry. Why the worry, he looked at May, she was a stranger just like everyone else, one in many of the half-demons that walked the earth. "Yet, that smell, it's all coming back to me, I know that smell, I've always know that smell but how could it possibly be?" Inuyasha shook his head in frustration, "She's dead, they're both dead, who would take in a half breed like me?" Oblivious to the others Inuyasha rose and ran, he ran as fast and as far away as he could. Kagome mounted her bike and followed calling after him.

"Inuyasha, where are you going, slow down please." Kagome panted as she pushed herself to keep up in close pursuit. Inuyasha stopped short then turned to leap, landing right before Kagome's bike and causing her to swerve to a screeching halt.

"Why are you following me, I need to think and you need to go away."

Kagome puffed her cheeks in anger but relaxed understanding that something was obviously very wrong.

"Inuyasha, sit boy." Inuyasha fell to the ground and Kagome kneeled to his level.

"Something is obviously not being said here, you're acting weird, and you're scaring me. I want to know the truth… I don't want to see you like this!" A tear ran down Kagome's face as she looked him in the eye.

Inuyasha turned away, "there are things you wouldn't understand Kagome, things you never need to know about." Kagome placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Just try me, please, I want to help you face whatever it is that's troubling you." Inuyasha's face grew weary and he reached to brush away a tear.

"Look, I've been such a jerk to you," Inuyasha sighed out of fatigue, "I'm sorry okay? You need to understand that I, I don't want to talk about it."

Kagome lifted his chin gently, "Inuyasha, you can tell me anything. I care about you, you're my best friend. Do you understand that?"

Inuyasha flexed his ears and began to speak. "Come on Kagome," Inuyasha spoke tired and monotone, "Doesn't May look a little like someone you know? Wake up and think about it. Her eyes, her age, her hair, her scent, her part-demon?"

Kagome gasped bringing her hand to her mouth, "Inuyasha what do you mean?"

"Kagome, May isn't any old stranger that happens to look like me, I think that she may possibly be… my daughter."

All the color drained from Kagome's pail face and her stomach plummeted. Inuyasha attempted to shake away the anxiety but was unsuccessful, it was devastation.

"Inuyasha, but I don't understand, when… how?" Inuyasha rubbed at the corners of his eyes. Kagome Placed her hand on his shoulder and Inuyasha turned to look her in the eye. "Inuyasha what happened?"

He began calmly and slowly. "Never in my life had I known love. My family was crappy and torn; my peers treated me like I was a nothing because of the way I looked. I'm tough Kagome, I learned how to close people out, everybody, and unfortunately I sometimes close out the only people I have, the only people who ever showed me signs of compassion. Then I met a young woman named Kikyo and it was all the same, I learned to hate her just like everyone else. Yet something was different about her, she kept talking to me and slowly against my stubbornness a change began to occur. I began to grow closer, first just wanting to talk to her, then waiting just to meet her, and finally I found myself feeling something new, I was all out in love for the first time. I loved her so much, I was going to use the sacred jewel to become a full human, so we could be together for eternity."

Kagome looked downwards, "I understand but what about May?"

"One day Kikyo smelled different and we knew what it meant. May was of course born. Her real name was Ishimaru, I remember her mother insisted on it. We had it all planned out and we were going to live together as a family." Inuyasha tossed back his head angrily and bowed it back to where it was before. "Then you know what happened after that. Naraku screwed us both over and we were all ripped apart. When you awoke me fifty years later I assumed that she had passed too, just like her mother. We never told anybody about her, there was nobody to tell, and I couldn't imagine anyone taking in a lowly half-breed like myself. I didn't believe the possibility that she could be alive, I didn't want to believe that she was alive. Try to understand Kagome, I wanted to forget everything and its pain. I dreamed of her full grown and raised, but I awoke praying that it wasn't true, that she hadn't suffered much after our dreamed up reality went to hell. None of the things that happened should have ever happened. We were young and blinded by the promise of the proper family we both lacked in our early years. It was so unfair, but I could do nothing, I just leaved everything and anyone behind." Inuyasha gave a dull chuckle, "Me, a father, yeah right, some father I would have made. I lose my temper easily, I have a bad attitude remember." Inuyasha frowned painfully, "Maybe it was for the better huh. I guess you can call me the most selfish, irresponsible jerk off in history… I guess I deserve it."

Kagome's heart wrenched, she had never known all that poor Inuyasha had been through. No wonder he was the way he was. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged her broken friend.

"Inuyasha, I… I never knew that you had so much to deal with, oh my gosh I could just cry for you forever." Inuyasha's eyes widened at Kagome's hug, how could she be so kind to such a failure. "Inuyasha you can't be so hard on yourself, how can I make you see, it wasn't your fault. You may be strong, but here you are the victim. Naraku tore apart your family, he is the real criminal of this story. Oh Inuyasha I'm so sorry that all that happened to you. And you know what, lots of people if faced with your situation would leave behind all that pain, who would ever want to remember. Oh your dreams, it all makes sense all those times I watched you moan and toss in your sleep. Oh gosh, I just can't imagine." Kagome sobbed as she held tight to a very surprised Inuyasha. He pulled her away to look her in the eye.

"Don't feel sorry for me, what I did was nothing honorable. How can you look at me?" For the first time ever Kagome saw tears running down Inuyasha's face, he was crying. Kagome managed a smile, "I wouldn't take back a word and you know something else? I think you would have been a great father."

Together they sat spilling their souls onto the soil below and not saying a word, not needing to say a word. As each other finally calmed to a more manageable level Kagome looked into Inuyasha's miserable bloodshot eyes, "You know she deserves an explanation Inuyasha."

Inuyasha looked up, "How do you do something like that huh, what am I supposed to say? Hey May, nice weather out, oh and by the way I forgot to tell you that I happen to be your father?" Kagome took his hands.

"It's the right thing to do. If what you say is true, I know that she will understand. She will have to understand."

He rose and prepared to leave to find his daughter.

"Thanks Kagome for… everything." Inuyasha bounded towards the others as Kagome smiled away, watching her friend finally find closure for part of his broken heart.


	3. Forgive Me May

May sat down on a nearby tree stump and slumped over discouraged and defeated. She had run in every direction possible, searching for Inuyasha after he took off into the woods.

"Oh it's no use, he's nowhere around. I'm so sorry, I made him run away, I make everyone run away." May buried her face in her knees and sobbed, "He hates me, everyone hates me." She wailed long and loud over all that happened in her life. She believed in a dark place in her heart that her parents had abandoned her and that Inuyasha had been right. She cried for her caretaker and only friend in the world, Yoko, and she was angry that Yoko's abusive husband Matsuto could treat them so poorly, always slapping his wife and calling May names like worthless Hanyou. She left to find answers, and yet she knew nothing, they weren't out there, they were as lost as Inuyasha. A sudden noise behind May startled her and she drew her bow and arrow, her only weapon that Yoko had found nearby where she had taken May in.

"Don't you come any closer, don't mess with me, I mean it!" The noise was growing closer and May stopped crying. A spreading desire to bolt consumed her mind but she seemed unable to put her arrow down out of helpless fear. May shot into the bush ahead causing an earsplitting screech to sound. Emerging from the plant May was disheartened to see a giant demon, bearing down on her. She shot another arrow but missed as she tripped on the boulder behind. She fell to the ground backing away as the demon creeped closer and closer. May didn't bother to scream, there was nobody around, she considered herself doomed.

"It's over." She thought as she prepared to be slaughtered. Suddenly the demon stopped screaming louder than before. Inuyasha jumped from behind, pulling his sword from the Demon's back. He landed neatly right before May.

"You really must stay out of this kind of trouble." Inuyasha raised Tetsusaiga and prepared to use his most damaging attack, wind scar, but the demon swung slamming Inuyasha into a tree before he could evade the hit.

"Inuyasha," May shouted as she raised her bow. She released the arrow aiming carefully at the demon's heart. It hit its target and the Demon screamed one last time as it fell to the ground dead. May ran to Inuyasha terrified that he was seriously hurt or worse.

"Inuyasha are you all right?" Inuyasha stirred and opened his eyes.

"Huh, Ishimaru you have to be careful, do you want to be dead? You could have been killed." He yelled as he searched with eyes for wounds and noticed that the bow and arrows in May's hands were unmistakably Kikyo's, causing him to freeze. May had had enough and she lost it. She was tired of being talked to so harshly by someone of her own kind.

"Hey, don't talk to me that way, I wasn't the one in trouble back there. I don't know why you have to be so mean to me, why do you hate me so. Did I offend you, I don't know Inuyasha but whatever I did it's not right for you to treat me this way. I thought you'd understand, but you don't at all. What do you care if something happened to me, you don't care for me. What exactly was that you called me any how? Something awful I'm sure. Inuyasha what are you staring at" May was crying again as she yelled all this, feeling worse and worse for her disrespect. Inuyasha however, had only listened loosely as he was lost again staring at his daughter confirming one last time that it was really her. She looked about the right age, everything pointed to one explanation, she was definitely his child.

"Inuyasha look at what our little girl is doing, she's laughing, oh isn't it adorable. Oh no dear, don't pull on Inuyasha's ears like that, oh she just loves you." May dropped to her knees and began all out sobbing again, shaking Inuyasha from the memory and turning his attention back. Almost dream like he lowered to her level and reached for a lock of hair. May looked at him in surprise, "You're crazy you know!"

Inuyasha leaned back. "Yeah, so? By the way I don't hate you I'm staring at you because of how much you look like your mother, by the way that's her bow and arrow that you used, and… Ishimaru is your name, your real name, but don't change May, your new name is better anyhow." May blinked and narrowed her eyes as she tried to understand everything Inuyasha just said.

"How do you know my Mother…who are you?" Inuyasha sighed and sat down all the way. He looked May straight in the eye.

"Sit down." May followed his demands as Inuyasha prepared to tell her everything. "Listen up, I'm not very good at this sort of thing but before you do anything more there are things that you must know first, do you understand me." Too much in shock, May nodded without saying a word.

"Yeah I knew your Mother, a lot better than you may have thought." Inuyasha began slowly, carefully trying to choose the right words. "I knew her because she was the only one I had ever loved." May gasped and brought her hand to her mouth as Inuyasha told her everything, about her mother, about how he was her father, about how Naraku took away their perfect life by turning himself and Kikyo against each other, about how he was pinned to a tree for fifty years and her mother dead from injury. All the time he refused to look her in the eye and face the pain he had kept all the years past. When he finally finished, Inuyasha allowed for a look, seeing May paralyzed and silent, and knew that she was hurt inside. Inuyasha pulled his precious sword and placed it in May's lap. "Well, your mother and I must have really screwed your childhood huh," Inuyasha bowed his head and closed his eyes, "here is your chance for revenge, honestly… I understand."

May picked up the blade looking it over and then threw it to her side. She threw her arms around Inuyasha giving him his second hug in one day.

"Dad, no you're wrong, I've been looking for you and now I found you and… I could never love anyone more than I do you right now." Inuyasha turned away.

"No I'm not your Dad, I didn't raise you. I didn't even believe you were alive anymore." May frowned slightly. "Inuyasha, I don't blame you for anything, I can see what happened and you didn't hardly have any control. Oh that Naraku, I could kill him. I must avenge our family." Inuyasha chuckled.

"Yeah, you and a hundred others." His face grew serious and weary, "May, look, I told you these things because I just don't want you to think, you know, that I abandoned you or something because it's not true. I know it must have been hard growing up a half-breed, I'd understand me of course having to deal with the same thing and all. I'm sorry I wasn't there to beat up the first punk that decided to make fun of the way you look and-," May silenced him with her finger and nodded.

"Yeah, I… know. Inuyasha, I have something personal to ask. Do you, well, do you still love my mother?" Inuyasha frowned and looked deep inside for the best answer he could muster.

"Sure I love her, she taught me some of the most valuable lessons I've learned and now it's because of her that I know that it's time I move forward. I know it's a dumb answer, but I can't really tell you the things I don't know myself." For a brief moment Kagome came to mind before Inuyasha pushed it aside and continued. "May, listen, you need to move forward too. I've found you, but unfortunately it's already time that I see you make your own future. You're young and independent and you are free to find your own adventures. Now I'm telling you that it's time we both let go of the pain of the past. Listen May, you can join me and the others on our journey to Naraku, but just ask yourself first if that's what you really desire to do. Either way, I'll still be here for the long haul, and you know I'll still, you know, always have a place for you in my heart. Do you understand?"

May smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I understand."

"Good. Now if you're satisfied I've had about all the sentiment I can take in one day. We better get back, if I know Kagome she'll get all huffy and think I got myself killed or something." May reached out and reached for his sleeve.

"One last thing, I've wanted to meet you my whole life and, well, would it kill you if I called you dad just this once?" Inuyasha smiled and cocked his head.

"I suppose I could manage." May grabbed his hands

"Good, because I wanted to say, that I still love you Dad."

"I was flirting with his-, oh that's just wrong." Miroku shook his head as Inuyasha and the rest of the group prepared to leave. Sango frowned and scolded.

"Well that's what you get for being such a perv. I hope you learned your lesson Miroku."

Miroku closed his eyes and grinned confidently, "Why yes I have, from now on, you are my one and only center of attention."

Sango would have taken this to be a compliment, had he not proceeded to rub her backside, causing her to give him a good smack across the face.

"Ow, geeze I was only kidding, did it ever occur to you that someday you might seriously hurt me and then how would you feel?"

Inuyasha and Kagome stood before May together to say their goodbyes. Kagome spoke first. "So have you made your decision yet? Are you going to join our party? We all welcome you with open arms." Everyone nodded and May smiled warmly.

"You all are wonderful, but I'm afraid I have things to take care of first. I hope you won't take it personally." May thought of Yoko and all the things she had to tell her. Kagome hugged her tenderly.

"No, don't worry about it, we all wish you the best of luck in whatever you need to do. Goodbye May." Kagome left and motioned for the others to follow as Inuyasha spoke to her alone.

"You tell those people you told me of, that Yoko… thank you. She did a fine job raising you." May nodded smiling. She pulled out her bow and arrow turning it slowly.

"So you're sure this is really hers?" Inuyasha chuckled.

"I would know, she did after all pin me to a tree with it for fifty years." May handed it to him but Inuyasha pushed it back. "No, it's yours now, use it to protect yourself. I saw you the other day, you really know what you're doing." May's face grew serious.

"Get him Inuyasha, Get revenge on Naraku for me and for Kikyo." Inuyasha's ears flexed. She didn't need to tell him twice. He reached out to touch her hair.

"I will if it's the last thing I do. You take care of yourself okay." May nodded and beamed and they remained silent. Inuyasha wasn't very god at this sort of thing, and he was at a loss over what to do. May came closer and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodbye Inuyasha." As she walked away Inuyasha could have sworn he saw Kikyo, minus the ears of course. When she disappeared into the forest Kagome approached.

"Are you going to be alright?" Inuyasha sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be just fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure okay." Inuyasha was getting a little annoyed at her and her smuggling.

"Geeze Inuyasha I'm only asking because I'm worried about you."

"Well stop worrying about me, I'm fine." Kagome frowned indignantly.

"Well have you learned anything Inuyasha, you know, along the lines of, you'll feel better if you tell us a little more often about how you're feeling?"

Inuyasha stopped and smirked. "No." Kagome yelled after him.

"You're the most stubborn person I've ever met in my life. I don't believe you. SIT BOY, SIT BOY, SIT BOY!"

Inuyasha yelled as he fell awkwardly to the ground.

"Oh come on I was just joking, alright I tell you everything, let me start right now by saying Kagome, that this is really pissing me off here." Sango laughed.

"Looks like everything's back to normal." Miroku rolled his eyes.

"Tell me about it."

The group continued on their journey together, but now, Inuyasha knew he had a fresh reason to bring Naraku's rein of evil to its end.


End file.
